The Dykeenies

ONCE upon a time, in the land of Cumbernauld, lived five boys. These five boys, brothers Alan, Andy and Brian and their two friends Steven and John, were united by magical forces to become The Dykeenies. With a little help from their fairy friends, the boys developed the ability to create an indie-punk riot, with big guitars, infectious singalong choruses and lots of energy. One day, the five boys invited Three’s a Crowd to pop in and see them while they rehearsed for their next tour. Never one to say no, Three’s a Crowd stopped by to discuss biscuits, super powers and Sarah Harding…

Hello, Dykeenies.
All: Hello!
Let’s get straight to business… What was your first pet called?
Steven: Mine was Lucy.
Brian: What was that? A dog?
Steven: Yeah.
Brian: Our dog was Oscar.
Andy: I had a dog called Boris.
Brian: It wasn’t actually called Boris, my granny thought it was called Boris, didn’t she?
Andy: “Boris! Boris! …. He never answers me!”
Alan: I had a goldfish called Muhammed.

If you could have a super power, what would it be?
John: I’d be invisible!
Brian: Mine would be flight, man. You could fly by planes with your bum out and that.
John: Like the Red Bull advert!
Steven: I’ve already got super strength.
Alan: Mine would be… Em… Stopping time.
Brian: That’s hardly a super power. Dr Who isn’t a super hero. You could push him over.
Andy: I’d have the power to turn myself into a woman… Or anyone I wanted. So if I saw a really nice supermodel, I could turn myself into her.
Steven: Why the hell would you want to do that?
Andy: You could lie in bed all day and I’d take pictures of me in bed.

If you could have any band reform, who would it be?
Alan: The Beatles
Brian: Thin Lizzy. But seeing as that guy’s dead, that’s not going to happen.
Andy: Think about this! Your super power is bringing folk back to life and then you could reform the band!

What’s your favourite kind of biscuit?