There are some trends which I have vowed never to wear again. They were too painful the first time around and should not be brought back into fashionable society. One such fashion folly is tartan and yup, you guessed it, it’s back and in a big way.

To me tartan signifies being seven years old when adults thought it was wonderfully cute to wrap small daughters in too-big kilts. Any gust of wind and the blasted thing is up over your head, not to mention trying to fasten it correctly so it doesn’t end up by your ankles. Clearly, tartan has scarred me emotionally.

Over the last few years I’ve been keeping an eye on the dreaded pattern as it has tried to elbow its way back on to the trend pages. It was only a matter of time before it made it and now here it is, the Autumn must have for 2008.
Thankfully, my preconceptions of tartan clothing have been eschewed for something much more grown up and, dare I say it, incredibly cool.

Henry Holland based his entire Autumn Winter collection for House of Holland on a tartan print he created. If anything can swing me on to the tartan trend it is Agy Dean strutting her stuff down the catwalk in a tartan wedding dress with matching eye-patch and antlers. I kid you not.

The standard heritage colours have been enlivened too, with jolts of hot pink , neon yellow and acidic blue. Whilst the more traditional pieces in red and grey utilise spiky black patent heels and big sunglasses for immediate modernisation and sex appeal.

So I’m keeping an open mind and, somewhat resentfully, facing my fear head on. I’ve decided that the grunge route is the best way to allow tartan into my Autumn wardrobe. Matching the prints with sloppy cardigans, soft ankle boots and thick arm-warmers I won’t feel stifled by the traditional undertones of the fabric.

I’ll probably ease myself in to tartan first with something small and removable. A scarf maybe, or there’s always that eye-patch.